Meet Unus the Untouchable
So the Beast gets pissy and leaves the X-men, as we have previously discussed. And his first action of business? Well, become a professional wrestler, of course. This scenario should sound somewhat familiar, because when Peter Parker got his spider-powers, this was his first idea as well. I guess it’s a logical choice if you happen to be a super-type and want to make some fast dollars. So, the Beast jumps in the ring, and a week later, becomes a national star. Everything is going great until he comes up against, get this, Unus the Untouchable!
Before we start making crude anatomical jokes, perhaps involving a reference to our seventh planet, Unus, it turns out, is a rare but valid first name for a a human being, I guess. I was able to find some Unuses in the internet white pages anyway, so it seems legit to me. I mean, I have never personally met anyone named Unus, but maybe it’s just one of those names that went out of style for whatever reason. I mean, the reason should be obvious, but anyway. While I was looking for Unuses on the internet, along with some other results that would be inappropriate to discuss here, I did see this pop-up ad:
And you know what, those are good questions. Is your name Unus? Tell us what it’s like to be named Unus. Seriously, if your name is Unus, leave a comment and tell us how it has affected your life, because god damn it, it must have.
Believe it or not, Unus does in fact pop up here and there in the comics throughout the years, more than you might imagine for such a silly character with such a silly name. I guess that’s just the kind of thing that happens when you have to write about a thousand issues about a group of characters over the course of fifty years. But yeah, we’ll be seeing ol’ Unus again, don’t worry.
So, the beast is faced with an opponent that he cannot touch, and the fight continues on outside of the ring, eventually involving the other xmen as well, but of course, he cannot be touched, so how do you defeat such a villain? Well, you develop a magic mutant-enhancing ray gun that soups up his powers so that not only can he not be touched, but he also cannot touch anything himself, and you starve him out.