Don’t Mess with The Blob’s Giraffe

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The Blob appears for the first time in X-men #3. He is in his underwear pretty much the entire time. There is a lot going on in the above page, where Scott pays him a visit after viewing his freak show act at a carnival. I don’t really know what this ‘touch’ that he and Scott are discussing is. From context, it seems like he means some type of solicitation or perhaps devious trickery, but a mostly nude, sweaty, circus freak being visited by a young stranger in his carnival trailer and asking if the young man is there about a ‘touch’ seems highly fishy to me. Then, Scott starts getting mad out of nowhere (Cyclops you JERK) and informs Blob that he has been summoned to the Xavier School, and that “The X-Men don’t take ‘NO’ for an answer”.

Then Jean Grey, the hottest girl in the known universe walks in, and Blob (whose given name is Fred Dukes, although I don’t think it’s ever mentioned in this issue) changes his tune immediately. You would think that Jean’s mutant power is sex appeal mind control. I mean, every male that so much as smells her is practically driven mad by her raw animal magnetism. Anyway, as you would expect, Warren and Scott get all huffy about little miss Number One White Crown Galaxy Triple A Plus Hottie getting hit on by this naked greasy man, so Scott blasts him in the back with his force beam, knocking him right into the furnace.

The furnace in his trailer, yeah, okay, but seriously, what the hell is this, a kidnapping? If you knew nothing about these characters you could easily think that the X-Men are the villains. No one is behaving very heroically in this scene, that is for sure.

blob2So they get back to the school, And Professor X is impressed! He wants the Blob to join the X-Men, but when Blob refuses, The Professor’s jerk side comes right out to play. He just can’t believe someone would refuse his generous offer to join his little kidnap squad, so he decides that it’s time for the old mind wipe!

blob3But this time, wiping a single mind will not slate Xavier’s morbid appetites! When Angel learns that the Blob has organized his circus friends to come and defeat the X-Men and steal their various treasures, including Jean’s underwear, he quickly slaps together a device that will blast the memories right out of the heads of an entire horde of carnies.

Just before the attack, we see the first instance of Hank acting like the condescending Beast that we know and love, and then, on the same page, Bobby’s ice cream is eaten by a giraffe, so he assaults the gentle creature with a mop.

giraffe

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Posted on February 20, 2013, in Blob, Dave Posts, First Appearances. Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. I had no idea that the Blob was such an old character. Having read some modern stories with him fighting the X-Men, it was hysterical seeing him attack the mansion with a circus.

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